2:03am
22nd January 2012
7 notes
I’m not sure what makes more sense - being forward, or being blinded by ignorance.
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t hear the humming in my head that just kept repeating “escape” even though I yelled for it to take its own advice. I can’t bring myself to move, even though I complain that I’ve stopped for too long. What I would give to find constant motivation, a shoulder to cry on when I need it - and god dammit I need it. But I’m starting to think that’s just what life is: you spend time collecting faith and donating it to believing that everyone has some good in them, and once you find out that some people just don’t… you take your donation out - whatever is left, and start over. Maybe what I’ve been doing is collecting too much without giving any out, and finally I put all of it into something I didn’t believe in from the start. I want to write the words that are eloquent enough to drive daggers into those I believed in, all the while - I want them to remain uninformed. There are so many things I need to say, so much I have to do. Everything turned from ‘want’ and ‘should’ to ‘need’ and ‘have’ so quickly, that all I could do was grab hold of the wind and go along with it; but maybe that’s it - maybe this whole time I’ve just been going along with things. Maybe it’s time I stop going along for the ride, and start creating the journey itself. Maybe it makes more sense if I go by myself.
